So, I survived my tri-fusion catheter placement procedure today. They sliced and diced me. And I broke out in hives.

Needless to say, it was a LONG day but also a successful one. In celebration of today’s surgery, I’ve included the following list of things you don’t want to hear during surgery. Enjoy!

List of Things You Don’t Want to Hear During Surgery:

Oops!
Has anyone seen my watch?
Come back with that! Bad Dog!
Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?
Hand me that…uh…that uh…..thingy
What do you mean he wasn’t in for a sex change!
Damn, there go the lights again…
Everybody stand back! I lost my  contact lens!
Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
What do you mean, he’s not insured?
Let’s hurry, I don’t want to miss the full hour of “Glee”!
What do you mean “You want a divorce”!
FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!

oh yeah, and this one:


Guys, the above are a few you don’t want to hear. However, I believe I did hear a few of those listed above in addition to “I have the same checkered boxers” and the swoosh and slice drowned by the office chatter the nurses and the doctors engaged in. It also didn’t help that they were celebrating their holiday party outside the OR and I could smell food. I was starved since I hadn’t had any food since the previous night at 8:00PM and this was almost 3:10PM…